Gary’s story

"I used to be a coach for the kids football team at Falkirk, where my son played. Then my mental health took quite a bad dip. I was getting terrible anxiety and panic attacks. I had a good relationship with the people inside the club so I phoned the Football Development Officer to tell him I wasn’t going to be coaching anymore and explained how I felt. He told me about The Changing Room.

"At that point I felt really bad and I’d have done anything to try and feel better. So I went along, met other guys. I was a wee bit wary at first going but I just thought: 'I need to do something, I need to try and get help for myself before I end up in too dark a place'.

"I know in life everybody’s got problems but when you’re in that dark place and you can’t see, you feel like there’s nowhere to turn and you can’t fix what’s going on. Your thought processes are different. Because of the age we’re at, early to mid-fifties, we’re the last of the old breed who just deal with situations, don’t open up about stuff. And it doesn’t work; you end up in a horrible place.

"But talking to my mental health nurse and to my contact at the club was the key. If I hadn’t have done that I wouldn’t have known about the group, which gave that little bit of help that really did help. It kind of opened my eyes.

"There were other groups but when I was going to The Changing Room I felt like a weight was lifted. I felt more at ease after speaking with the guys. There were guys in there who were a bit quieter, folk that were quite chatty, and I was just put at ease.

"When I came home after the first group I felt different. I think maybe just because you could see other people were struggling as well. It was a wee group of people all there for one another, whether it’s on the other end of the phone or a WhatsApp message or whatever. There’s always somebody there if you need anything.

"The first lot of anxiety medication I had from the doctors wasn’t helping me, it was making me feel ill, and the guys were telling me to speak to my mental health nurse about it, offering advice and stuff about how I could get it sorted, and I did.

"It’s not good when you’re sitting not knowing where to turn and not knowing who to speak to. It’s like a wee dark devil sitting on your shoulder, gnawing away looking for a gap to get in. And if it gets in, then your mental health dips. There was no obvious trigger for how I started to feel. The anxiety and panic attacks were horrible, I ended up in the hospital not able to breathe.

"I feel lucky that I found out about The Changing Room group. It’s given me hope. Because I’d previously had an issue with my mental health, a long time ago, where I’d gone into that dark place and could only see one way out. I’m glad I didn’t take that route. It was like three months of my life just gone, and I didn’t want to get to that place again.

"This dip in my mental health hasn’t been as bad as the last time. I think if I hadn’t have recognised things as quickly, it could have quite easily have been as bad as it was before.

"My son doesn’t need to know yet, but when he gets a bit older I’m going to speak to him about it and explain: 'If you thought during that time Dad was a wee bit different, it’s because I was dealing with this. I maybe wasn’t quite a chirpy as normal, might have been a grumpier or a bit more distant. And this is fine, you speak to people about how you’re feeling.' I think it’s important that he’s got the tools to deal with situations and he knows what to do if God forbid anything happens to happen."