William’s story

William’s life changed dramatically when he experienced a psychotic episode and attempted to end his life. He’s supporting SAMH’s Show Up campaign because he wants to tackle the stigma that exists around depression and psychosis. 

Hello, my name is William, and I live with clinical depression, also known as major depressive disorder.

Everyone struggles with spells of low mood from time to time, and some people think that this means everyone has experienced depression. It doesn’t. I have often experienced well-meaning people say things like “could you not just have pulled yourself together?”

Clinical depression is a horrible illness, which most of us, thank goodness, have never experienced.

In late 2023 and early 2024, my life changed dramatically. I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital twice, after experiencing a psychotic episode and making a serious and significant attempt to end my life. At the time, I was very detached from reality and remember very little of this period.

Looking back, I realise I had probably been living with depression for some time but didn’t recognise this. I just kept telling myself that I was “lucky”: no problems with my day-to-day life and no obvious reasons to experience mental health problems.

Over time, my stress increased and this made it difficult for me to switch off. Although I was close to my family, I rarely spoke openly about how I was feeling.

Since then, I’ve learned a great deal, not just about mental illness, but about myself. Terms like ‘depression’ and ‘psychosis’ carry stigma, particularly psychosis, which is frequently represented in the media as a violent disorder. However, most people who experience psychosis are not dangerous to others; the greatest risk is usually to themselves.

I think it’s important to raise awareness of what psychosis is and isn’t if we want to tackle the stigma that surrounds it. People experiencing psychosis typically experience one or more of the following:

• Seeing people, animals, or objects that aren’t there.
• Hearing voices, often telling you what to do.
• Becoming convinced that you’ve done or caused something catastrophic despite all rational evidence to the contrary. This is known as a ‘delusion’ which is how it manifested itself for me. For example, I was completely and unshakeably convinced that I had caused aeroplanes to fall out of the sky and crash.

One thing that made a huge difference was the support my family and I received from my employer, who really did ‘Show Up’ for me. When I was ready to return to work, I felt supported and have managed to return to work in the same role following a clear, phased return; I felt completely safe and supported throughout.

When you have the right help, people can thrive. My life is better now because of the support I have from my family, friends, colleagues, and employer.

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling, please know that help is available, speaking up is a strength – not a weakness, and, most importantly, people do survive, get better, and thrive.

And if someone else in your life is experiencing mental health problems, here’s some things you can do to ‘Show Up’ for them:

• Really listen – simply being there and giving someone your full attention is one of the most powerful things you can do.
• Let them lead the conversation – allow them to share as much or as little as they want.
• Be non judgemental and validating – acknowledge how they feel and avoid dismissing or minimising their experience.
• Show you care through small, consistent actions – check in regularly, keep things normal where possible, offer practical help.
• Encourage (but don’t force) getting support – offer to help them access support but respect their choice if they’re not ready.
• Ensure that you have support to allow you to continue to offer support.