Self-care for personality disorder

If you've been diagnosed with personality disorder, it might sometimes feel like a struggle. But there are things you can do yourself that may help.

Not everything will work for you, and different things might work at different times.

Coping with feeling overwhelmed right now

If you're experiencing lots of difficult feelings, it can feel overwhelming.

If you feel angry, frustrated or restless, you could:

• Try a breathing exercise
• Turn up your favourite music, and dance or sing
• Do something with your hands, like making or fixing something
• Do something creative like colouring, drawing, creative writing or making music
• Write in a journal
• Take a shower - some people find taking a cold shower in particular can help

See our page on anger.

If you feel depressed, sad or lonely, you could:

• Get comfy and watch your favourite TV show
• Read a favourite book
• Write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and scrunch or tear it up
• Listen to a song or watch a video you find uplifting
• Write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone
• Call or text a friend you've not spoken to in a while
• Cuddle a pet or a soft toy

See our page on depression.

If you feel anxious, panicky or tense, you could:

• Make yourself a hot drink and drink it slowly, noticing the taste and smell, the shape of the mug and its weight in your hand
• Take ten deep breaths, counting each one out loud
• Write down everything you can think of about where you are right now, such as the time, date, colour of the walls and the furniture in the room
• Take a warm bath or shower - this can help change your mood by creating a soothing atmosphere and a distracting physical sensation

See our page on anxiety.

If you want to self-harm, you could:

• Draw or put a plaster on the area of your body where you want to harm yourself
• Massage the area where you want to harm yourself
• Find creative ways to express these feelings, through writing songs or poetry, drawing, movement or singing
• Have a very cold shower

See our page on self-harm.

If you feel dissociative or spaced out, you could:

• Breathe slowly
• Listen to sounds around you
• Walk barefoot
• Wrap yourself in a blanket and feel it around you
• Eat or sniff something with a strong taste or smell
   

Helping yourself long-term

• Talk to someone - talking to someone could help with any difficult feelings. This includes if you feel isolated by your diagnosis and experiences. It can be hard to talk when you're not feeling well. You may feel like no one understands what you're going through. Sharing our information could help if you find it difficult to explain what you're experiencing. If you don’t feel you can talk to the people around you, you could contact a helpline. 
   
• Keep a mood diary - recording your moods could help you spot patterns, such as anything that triggers difficult experiences or notice early signs when they're beginning to happen. Try noting down difficult thoughts or feelings. You could do this in a diary or mood tracking app. Noting things down can help get them out of your head. This could make them feel less overwhelming. You can then reflect on them when you feel calmer or talk about them with someone you trust. Be kind to yourself and make a note of what's going well too. Recognise steps you've taken or new things you tried. They don't need to be big things. It could be taking a shower, going for a walk or texting a friend.
   
• Plan for difficult times - you might not always feel able to tell people how you're feeling or what help you need. It might help to create a plan. This plan can explain what would keep you safe if you're struggling. And what you'd like to happen in an emergency. It can include things like - names and contact details of people you trust, safe spaces for support, warning signs and practical needs. If you can, try to make the plan when you're feeling a bit better. It helps if you can think clearly about what you might need when you're struggling. You could also make the plan with someone you trust, such as a friend or therapist.
   
• Look after your physical health - looking after your physical health can make a difference to how you feel. This can be hard if you struggle with negative thoughts about yourself, but taking small steps can make things feel less overwhelming. Find out more about physical activity and sport.